Of Dango and Salad
by annienonienomious
Summary: An uncle, he learned, is a great coach, a favorite teacher, a big brother, and a best friend - all rolled into one. As an uncle too, he is ready to be one big emotional mess. (Series of one-shots, Non-Massacre AU)
1. First Meeting

**First Meeting**

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto.

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For the past few weeks, he had been sleeping sleepless nights. He knew the bags were present under his eyes and he would yawn in the day. But tonight, he got a call and the second he heard his his younger brother frightened voice, he immediately screamed a, "Heading there! _I know_!" and left the telephone dangling on its wire.

At first, he sprinted, but noticing the distance from where he resided to his destination, he began to jump from one rooftop to another. Yes, he tried to land very softly on the houses, yet there would always be creaks and thuds and the more he did it, the more he became used to it.

Even if the village was still in its deep slumber at three in the morning, the hospital was awake and looked as lively as ever. Still dressed in his pajamas, he stormed into the entrance, immediately heading to the receptionist.

"U- Uchiha," he panted. Understanding to whom he was referring to, the person on duty gave him a room number and he flew in the blink of an eye. He did not ask for directions and relied solely on his senses and instincts. Luckily, painful cries were not hard to miss and he turned on his heel.

Once arrived in front of the room, he decided to knock on the door as the polite man he was. There were sounds of yells, panics, and numbers of unpleasant words inside that his knock went unheard. So he knocked again, only to have a, "SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU FREAK!" shouted at him. He jumped a little at that.

There were mutters and the cries increased until a nurse opened the door for him. "Oh Uchiha-san! Please do come in!" she welcomed him as if they were in a friendly situation. Except, it was not. He hurried entering the room to spot a group of nurses, a doctor, and a pair of couple.

While the pink-haired woman on the bed was all sweating and grunting and had a red face, his younger brother breathed in relief upon seeing him. "Nii-san, please take her right hand!" the squeak in his brother's voice was too evident, it scared him in a way to wonder what he was going through.

But he, without more doubts, took the job his brother had offered to find out it was not as what he expected.

Under his sister-in-law's strong grip, several bones were crushed as the woman wailed; he was sure he could have done the same if it had not been for his healthy mind and respect to her. He bit down his swear words when he felt an extra mount of cracks, terror washing over him.

He did not know why he had to endure this as he had only been a brother and a friend to the two people in front of him. However, he kept comforting them and praying to all the gods up there for lucks so that he, together with the two, would survive this.

At eight in the morning, the infant was finally pushed out from her mother's womb.

He collapsed completely on his chair, satisfied that the torture had ended after six hours of terrible, awful labor. From where he was, he saw his brother a.k.a. the new father having both of his broken hands treated and the new mother being cleansed up. He felt he was lucky enough to only have one hand smashed, but the fact did not help him from cringing slightly. Despite it, he took a peek at the newborn girl who was now crying so loudly and healthily.

"Well done, Sakura-chan, and congratulations," he gave his sister-in-law a genuine encouraging smile and although weary, she returned the gesture. All of the sudden, a nurse came to him and asked him if he wanted to carry the towel-wrapped little human. He glanced back at the new parents, unsure if it was alright for him to cradle her. To their approval and 'you deserve it' sayings, the nurse handed him the small bundle of joy as he awkwardly supported her tiny head.

The baby stopped crying all at once. Big black orbs wandered curiously at another pair of black orbs and at the time he brought a good finger to her, she grasped it with her itty-bitty plump hand. That was when he felt the experience was anything but worth it.

Before returning her to her mama and papa, he did not miss the chance to introduce himself.

"Hello, Sarada," he cooed. "I am your Uncle Itachi."

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 **Author's Note:**

 _*internally screaming*_

P.S.: 'Of Dango and Salad' is marked as 'complete' as it is a collection of one-shots.


	2. Swishing Hair

**Swishing Hair**

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto.

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"Oh, no no no no. No, Sarada, no."

"Ba ba ba!"

"Well, give it a try then."

"Ba ba ba ba ba!"

"I won't let you have it until you catch it yourself."

It was December and snowing outside when he had to babysit Sarada at Sakura's request. From what he understood between the pinky's hurried babble an hour ago, Sasuke was currently at Iwagakure for a mission and her Yamanaka friend was suddenly in labor. All that being said, she had to leave her dishes and asked someone to take care of her daughter.

She explained to him that she had tried to contact her parents only to find out they were having a vacation outside the village, and Naruto and Kakashi were busy. She was planning to ask her parents-in-law too, but they were not answering her calls as well (Itachi then told her that they were having a date together). And so, she had no choice but to drop Sarada at his house. Not that he had a problem with it, anyway. He actually enjoyed babysitting his niece.

At almost eight-month old, Sarada was quite an active baby. For the past ten minutes, the girl had been trying to grab his ponytail and played with it. Of course Itachi did not mind, yet he loved seeing her determination and efforts in having a handful of the raven locks. So he shook his head from side to side while his niece was giving her best shot to catch it.

"Uhn!" for the umpteenth time, Sarada stretched her little arms out over his left shoulder, but Itachi managed to swish his hair to the right before she could catch it. She pouted and disappointment was clear in her 'ba ba ba's as she started to search for the locks again.

Still, although Sarada was so desperate to have his hair, Itachi kept on teasing her to the point where she stopped. She proceeded to seat on his laps and stared at him longingly. "You give up?" Itachi asked her.

Sarada gave no response, glueing her gaze into him.

"Don't you want to have it?"

She remained silent.

"Sarada."

And that's when his niece began to whimper, her lips trembling slightly.

 _Oh shit_.

Making a hurt face, Sarada parted her mouth to send a big loud cry. The girl clutched at her uncle's navy blue shirt, demanding him that she wanted the weird swaying thing behind his head. She wanted to know what it was, to grab it and to feel it, and perhaps shove the thing inside her mouth. "Am mwa mwa mwam!" she protested between her cries.

On the other side, panicking, Itachi swiftly reached for his ponytail and presented it to Sarada. "H-Here you go!" he blurted out in fright. "Don't cry, Sarada, _please_! You can have it, okay? Uncle is so sorry. Here!" he cued as he waited for a sign from his niece.

Blinking twice, Sarada was quick to calm herself down. She took the hair and amused herself with it, confusion written over her face. "Ya ya ya ya!" she clapped, tangling the black strings between her fingers and started to yank it in a playful manner.

Itachi sighed, guilty for being a bad, _bad_ uncle. Yet, he was relieved that his niece was so easy to please (unlike baby Sasuke who, he remembered, had to be given a bottle of milk when he was upset). "Thank goodness," he murmured to himself. At least, now he could escape Sakura's wrath and Sasuke's disappointment. Next time, he promised, he would let Sarada do whatever she wanted with his hair.

Little did he know though, Sarada was faking her cry the whole time before.

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 **Author's Note:**

Thank you for all the reviews! You guys are so amazing! This chapter is quite short, but I hope all of you are fine with it... Until next time!


	3. Love Rival

**Love Rival**

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto.

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There was this 'thing' about the brunette that made Sarada felt both comfortable and uncomfortable with. She did feel ease, but she decided she needed to discover more about the woman for her own safety - just like what Papa had said to her: always be cautious.

Simply saying, Uncle Itachi had brought her for a walk around the village that day to greet a certain someone. Alas, not long after they stood hand-in-hand at one of the four Konoha's gates, a woman cladded in a beige cloak appeared and she immediately gave her uncle one huge crashing hug while yelling his name. Lucky Sarada stepped away, avoiding the perhaps painful hug as Itachi fell and landed roughly on his back.

When the two released their embrace, Sarada had run over to her uncle's back and pointed at the woman. "Who?" she whispered, hiding behind him in alert.

The woman, unexpectedly, had sparkles around her onyx eyes as she smiled widely, but kindly. "Are you Sarada?" she asked.

Not wanting to give the stranger a direct answer, Sarada repeated her question. This time, louder. " _Who_?"

The woman gawked in disbelief. "What?" she turned to face Itachi, "How dare you? She doesn't know me! Have you ever even told her my name or showed her our photos?"

Itachi cleared his throat. "Believe me, I have."

"But why? _When_?"

"Eum… a year ago?"

The woman dramatically gasped. "Sara-can was just two last year! How did you expect that she will remember my face?"

"W-Well… Better than never, right?"

"Unforgivable," the woman muttered irritatedly as she turned to Sarada. The little girl peeked in bewilderment, not understanding the topic of the talk. "S-So…" it started awkwardly, "Hello. My name is Izumi, and I am you uncle's-"

"Friend."

"Yes- _No,_ " she shotted a quick glare at Itachi. "Not _friend_. Definitely, not _friend_ ," she said through gritted teeth before continuing excitedly, "I'm Izumi, your uncle's _girl_ , and you can call me Izu-basan or anything you want. In return, I'll call you Sara-chan, alright? Yay or nay?"

Still puzzled, Sarada could only nodded as she tried to absorb all the informations the woman had just said. Once she understood, she made up her mind that this 'Izu-basan' person was a good person and that she could trust her. But one line - _one single line_ \- Sarada did not and would not want to agree to.

That is, the 'your uncle's girl' line.

Sarada sulked at the mention of it.

Uncle Itachi, as what she recalled, had always favored her, even _more_ than Papa. Sarada was always his princess, his little ninja, his 'Your Highness', and his sunshine. Therefore, she was his girl, and no one - _not even a single soul_ _in the universe_ \- can say that she's not. No one. _Ever_. But then, this Izu-basan over here was being annoying and claimed she was his girl!

 _Shannaro!_

"I thought you wanted to be called as Izu-neechan?" Sarada caught Uncle Itachi asking as the two adults were still having a conversation.

"Change of mind. You told me you're called Ita-jiji, so I'll be Izu-basan. I don't want people to think that we're not a couple."

"Did something happen in Suna?"

"Oh, you won't believe it," Izumi groaned. "For almost three years I have to endure being surrounded by your fangirls. Apparently, only few would acknowledge me as your fiancée even though I've been wearing and showing them _this_ ," she held up her left hand where a large-centered diamond ring sat neatly on her third finger.

Itachi chuckled, "Don't worry. Let them dream and fantasize. I only have eyes on you."

"Shut it," blush creeped to Izumi's cheeks. "That's cheap."

He then planted a kiss on the crown of Izumi's head. "I'm serious," he whispered (sexily, Izumi thought).

Their little lovey-dovey moment, however, was soon interrupted as Itachi felt a tug on his pants. Looking down, he saw Sarada grumbling and scowling. "Ah…" he voiced. _Wrong move._ Then he continued, "And you too, Princess. I have my eyes on you too." He bent to raise the kid up and pecked her on the cheek. When Sarada giggled, he knew it meant he did the right thing and so he gave her a happy piggy-back ride on the shoulders.

"Yes. We'll share, Sarada," Izumi giggled. "We'll share."

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 **Author's Note:**

I don't think this chapter is my best shot, but I want to introduce Izumi to this series so...yeah, here you go :D Thanks for reading!


	4. Backyard Camp

**Backyard Camp**

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto.

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Having a night over Uncle Itachi's was one of Sarada's favorite things to do. In fact, in her top-ten list, it came third after 'home with Mama and Papa' and 'training'. With that, every time she knew her uncle was free, she would ask if it's alright for her to stay at his house for the night. Itachi usually said a 'yes' and went to call her parents, but if he was busy, he would poke her forehead and say his magic words.

Fortunately for her, Itachi was available tonight and Mama had allowed her to stay with him too. Sarada arrived in the evening and as she had her dinner, her uncle told her that they would have a 'camp night' tonight plus a bonfire together. Once she agreed, they set up the tent with a pit at the backyard.

Much to Sarada's liking, the tent was filled with pillows and unlike the camping sites she saw in the television, her camp was decorated with fairy lights (courtesy to Itachi, of course). There were also a bunch of fluffy blankets, board games, and a log placed for sitting outside. Excited, Sarada changed into her pajamas at a matter of seconds.

When she was back, her uncle was stuffing the pit with branches. Sarada took a seat beside him, eyeing his work with interest. "Ita-jiji," she started, "What is that for?"

"It's for the fire," he answered with a smile. "Have you ever had a camp before this?"

She shook her head. "Papa and Mama like to stay inside, but we play castle sometimes. It's fun."

"I see…" Itachi muttered as he stood up and wiped his hands with a napkin. "Alright, we're ready! Let's start the fire!"

"Yay!" Sarada exclaimed. "I can help you with that, Ita-jiji! Papa taught me the 'Goukyakuu no Jutsu' last week!"

Itachi baffled, remembering he was around his niece's age as well when he first performed the technique which had been passed along the Uchiha bloodline. "Have you mastered it?" he asked Sarada in amazement and even if she had not, he promised, he would still be proud of her for giving it a try.

"Yup," she nodded. "My lips burned a bit but Mama was nearby."

Itachi patted her head. "Well, don't push yourself too hard, Sarada," he reminded. "Now let's do it together, shall we?"

"Uhn!"

The duo then stared at the pit, controlling the volume of chakra inside of them to convert it into fire. When they were ready, they swiftly performed the hand seals before inhaling and shouting the jutsu's name in their respective mind, _Katon: Goukyakuu no Jutsu!_ And as they expelled it from their mouths, a blaze was released.

While Sarada had her eyes closed in efforts to produce a large orb of fire, Itachi had his own opened, peeking at the sight of his niece. From his observation, Sarada managed to threw a flame and although her flame was small, it certainly was there. He smirked, knowing that his niece was a genius. _Just like her uncle_.

"We made it, Ita-jiji!" Sarada clapped in enthusiasm, the pit was now burning red.

"Yes, we did. Now it's marshmallow toasting time!"

Again, Sarada exclaimed a 'yay'. According to her, marshmallow was one of the best foods in the world: soft, chewy, and sweet - just like dango, but this one was toast- _able_ for a better experience and would still be yummy. Oh, it's perfect for a backyard camping too.

Time passed by as they chitchatted and munched on the confection, and when the pack of marshmallows was finished, they decided to go into the tent, leaving the fire crackling. Snuggling into a large soft blanket, they played some games, occasionally sipping at their hot chocolate. Nearing Sarada's bedtime, simpler games began, one included the staring contest.

"Wait, Ita-jiji! You're cheating!" Sarada shouted, noticing the slight change of color on Itachi's eyes. "You use the Sharingan! I don't have that yet!"

Keeping his eyes opened, he raised an eyebrow at her. "What do you mean? I don't."

"Cheater!" Sarada finally gave up and she let herself fell to the back, extending her arms out as she did. "Ita-jiji, you cheater," she spatted. "I don't have the Sharingan yet!"

"But I did not use the Sharingan."

"You lie."

"Am not."

"Are yes."

"Nope."

"YOU ARE!" she screamed frustratedly and messed her hair up in exasperation. "Ah, that's it! I'm going to sleep!"

Smiling with victory, Itachi tried to look as innocent as possible. "Alright, Sarada. It's past your bedtime anyway," he tucked the angry kid to the soft bedding and covered her with warm blankets. "Don't be mad," he said, "I will cook your favorite for breakfast."

"Mama said lying is bad."

"-And I'll buy dango too."

Sarada curled up. "Fine, Ita-jiji. I'm going to sleep now. G'night," she yawned and it did not take her long until she slept like a log. She dreamed of dango that night and in the morning, she woke up to find five sticks of the sweet dumpling outside her tent.

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 **Author's Note:**

Thank you for all the readers and reviewers! I'm so surprised that this fic can get so many favorites and followers! Here is the fourth one-shot for the series, hope you like it!


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